Mom's Brave Time

The choice to stay at home has been harder on Mom (and in some ways, everyone) than expected. What a difference, in a world where so many pine away in nursing homes and hospitals. I don't begrudge or criticize those who do so, but Mom has chosen instead to be at home in this time, and it has been a long journey. People have been so willing to pitch in and give time, provender, money, or prayers to support us in this season. God has shown us how gentle his hands are, and how much he has to provide. But, what a sweet, hard time.

Mom died this afternoon at 4 or so, slipping gently across. Whatever the case may be, her body isn't broken any more. Her mind is whole, and she has been shot through with light. What a joy to know the resolution and finality of this journey.

Think back and remember what you know of her, if you had the joy of knowing her. We will be having a memorial service at the end of this week, and will post the details here soon. There will also be an obituary run in the Knoxville, Kingsport, and Johnson City newspapers. We look forward to sharing memories with you then, and laughing and crying some.

Know that the Father has blessed us. He has poured out love on us. He has given us what we need. He has given us more. He is more than good or excellent, and He knows us so.

Thank you, Father, for my Earthly Mother. What a gift she has been. I knew your love first because of her love. I knew your gentle hand because of her gentle hand. Take her to your table and let her rest and be filled.

She used to include the following on all of her letters to us, claiming the lines for her own. We'll never be able to read that children's book without thinking of her:

"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

What a wonder that others have felt her take them up in her heart as her own...what a wonder.

A plateau...for now.

Mom has been stable over the last few days. She lost some blood on Saturday, and there was some concern for continued bleeding. It has stopped, however, and she is maintaining. It is harder and harder for her to breathe well and swallow, and it is difficult to catch more than a few words of what she is trying to say, but she is communicating some still with us. Coherent moments are few and far between, and she has been fairly agitated because of being in the bed so much. A short reprieve on Friday consisted of getting her out of the bed and into the living room to look at the yard and the leaves that have been changing and falling in the yard. She was much relieved to see outside and enjoyed the sunlight.

Thank you all so much again for prayers and meals, and all of the other support that goes unmentioned. It has been a hard time this past week or two, and there have been more tears than usual.

Sally forth,

-n

Over the last week...

On Friday, the 17th, mom was lucid enough to try and get out of the bed. She climbed up, and in a flash had fallen out of the bed, hitting her head, shoulder, and hip. Michele had stepped out of the room long enough to go to the mailbox, and came back in to quite a fright...an empty bed. An ambulance was called, and the scans at the hospital showed some bleeding to the brain. This could improve or not over the next while, but the signs for trouble there are the same as the conditions we are already seeing.

This morning, the hospice nurse told us that we are near the end, and that the breathing patterns (slowed, apnea) combined with the swallowing signs (aspiration) and heart rate (increased) show that Mom doesn't have much longer with us. We have been mourning for some time now, but this is what the Father has been preparing her (and us) for. Mom still recognizes us, and will react when we come in the room, but is losing weight and coherence daily. Your notes and letters have been such an encouragement, as has the food and company.

We have returned time and time again to Psalm 103, a favorite of Mom's. She will still begin to speak along with scripture reading, which is a great encouragement. Those words from the Father are etched too deeply to be erased by such as delirium or disease.

The next few days will be the climax of a great work. God has redeemed our Mother, and is bringing her life to a close. The final notes are sweet, and we are straining to hear each one of them. What a wonderful life to have watched. What a wonderful song to have listened to. There have been bitter and scary sections, terrible to behold, but there has been resolution and peace in more measure than (she would say) she deserved. We are full of thanks, crying and singing.

Pray with us for Michele, as she is at home with Mom, and for the rest of us as we rotate in and out in the night watches.

We love you, as does Mom.

But mostly, the Father loves you.

-n

The Home Stretch

I apologize for not posting sooner. A great deal has happened since our last post. Directly after our last post, I came down with pneumonia, and was then laid off from my job.

In the last week and a half, Mom has taken a serious turn for the worse. It has been like the flip of a switch, as her liver has begun the final stages of failure. On Wednesday, a week and a half ago, she suddenly began dry heaving and crying out. It has been a struggle since then. We are now employing hospice care, and she is requiring around the clock care from us. There are stages where she is lucid, but largely, her time is spent resting. We have structured some time for us to exchange care, but Michele is taking the brunt of the time.

They have given us a time frame for the home stretch for Mom. The doctors and hospice nurses are telling us two months is the maximum time to expect her to live. We feel that this is an overgenerous estimate, and that it will be much sooner than that.

Emily is setting up a rotation through a website for the bringing of food, because the mean time doesn't allow her visitors. I will put a link up later today. Mom still loves getting notes and messages, and we shoot for her most lucid times to share them.

Feel free to email me with anything, or questions. My email is householdbirds@gmail.com.

We love you all. Thanks again for following, irregular though it may be. The posts will be closer together, as time is quickly passing.

The last few days...

There has been some swelling in her extremeties, both hands and feet. Mom was in the hospital for 3 days over the last weekend, having some testing and taking a course of diuretics to reduce the pressure in her limbs. We are praying that the swelling continues to go down, though her body isn't responding quickly. Pray with us as the next few days unfold, and we hope to see improvement! She is discouraged, but puts on a good face, being willing to face whatever comes along. How like her to plod ahead.

We love you all,

N

From Rebecca - Again!

Just a note to all the wonderful friends of Momma's .... if you would like to send her a note, she enjoys reading her mail and looks forward to the mailman every day! Please don't necessarily expect a formal reply or a returned call; but a reply in thought and prayers from Momma will surely be sent.
She is taking each day as it comes and water retention on the extremities is an issue at this point in time. Not only is she dealing with her health, but we are attempting to rearrange her home to better accommodate her, Michele and the boy's future needs.
Bruce was able to spend a night at home with her and somewhat coordinate plans for arrangements of the accommodations to follow. They both enjoyed the time together.
I have to remember that if it was simple, we sure wouldn't know what it was to climb a mountain. Welcome to the mountain, we love it here...Grateful to know what a mountain is and I would climb it any time for her!:)
Thanks to all!

From Rebecca...

Momma says "She met with the oncologist day before yesterday and the went over the latest CAT scan. It showed the cancer is slowly moving but with a density in her left upper lung which is more defined."
We apologize if calls are not answered or returned, Momma is most consumed with maintaining and just taking each day as its own. We surely thank you all and we do mean ALL of our friends and family for your prayers and efforts in lifting Momma up to God. Who could we better deliver her to!!!
Thank you so much,
Rebecca Elaine Jordan