As you know, Momma isn't herself unless she's expending her resources on others or gardening. She opted for more of the latter this past weekend, taking in the Talahi Plant Sale at Lakeshore Gardens. It has become somewhat of a tradition for her and me to go and run elbow to elbow with a host of others in hopes of scoring some sweet greens for the yard. Members of the Knoxville Garden Club dig from their own yards for the event, and it's always promising.
This year I arrived before her, which is new, and snagged a cart for us as the gate opened while she was still donning her galoshes. We traipsed off to look at the goods and throw some punches, and came away with some pretty nice plants all in all. Emily is particularly excited about the Hydrangeas and Peonies. If you get a chance, you should go next year.
But as we were leaving, I sat in the car and she told me about her doctor speaking with her last week. That breast cancer is normally a stage 1 type thing, but since this is metastatic that it is automatically stage 4. In between those words, we read "terminal." Rebecca (Elaine) was with her at that particular appointment, and she said that they were both touched. The doctor, sweet man, said that he would rather jump off of a building than to tell her that news, and I love him for it.
As a side note, no one sees patients who have had four cancers and are still mobile. This is a miracle in and of itself. 1 in 10 breast cancers are what are called "triple negative," which is what we are seeing here. (for more reading, see http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/diagnosis/trip_neg/)
It's important that we suffer well, which means letting others carry us. It's just hard when we don't know how long this all will play out. Momma is still carrying on like a champ, but she is getting tired more easily. This physician told her to rest and prioritize her diet and sleep. Telling her to stop all activities is like asking the sun not to shine, but she is trying to take care of herself as well as keeping her boots on.
John will be making some adjustments school wise in the next bit, and Michele needs much encouragement and prayer as she lives alongside Momma in this season. We are praying about doing this well as a family and being supportive, but Michele carries a great deal of the weight of it with her daily. We are all adjusting to the news.
As we got in the car to leave, I shut her door and looked at her through the open window, this woman who has given blood and tears to fight for us. She looked at me with that same knowing look that she has given us so much during our lives, the one that says "I know, I know, it'll be just fine." All I could do was look back and say "Well, I'll see you again this time next year."
It could very well be.
We love you all,
N
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