Update from April 1st

Mom has been trying to keep a positive outlook, and we have been
waiting to hear back from the team of doctors that are working together.
I wonder sometimes if they just get together and play Operation (personally,
I prefer Monopoly), but this past week, evidently, we got some work done.
The result is as follows:

          Surgery has been withdrawn completely as an option for her
because of the state of her liver. The primary focus is the liver at
this point, and we don't want to do anything to send it further toward
failure. That said, the team is hoping to try radiation in a local
form, starting in the following weeks. That can be tricky too, because
of its effects on other parts of the body, the delicate nature of the
skin, etc. We will see in the next few days what can be done, if
anything. The other alternative (which we were already settled with)
is to simply let it take its course.

Mom said the other day that she is hurting more in her arm and hands.
She feels that other things are failing (her words, not mine) and that
things are spreading. She has a pretty high pain tolerance on the
whole, so it's something to say that she is verbalizing that. What
initially seemed to be so urgent with our doctors has turned into some
referrals and conference calls (I give them a hard time, but they
really do treat her well), so it's frustrating to wonder whether it
really is urgent or will just become a waiting game. One says take
action now, now, now, and the others say it's not a huge hurry. In the
end, we don't know what to expect...weeks, months, years?

David Benner stated that the possibility of human love opens our heart
for the possibility of God's love. He talks about the fact that the
ways we experience love here on earth translate into how we are able
to receive God's love. It's been wonderful to learn about his
affection and tenderness, but I turn around and live it out so poorly,
and the cost is very high. Thanks for being along for the journey.